bipolar Kedron planning
I’m feeling quite bipolar the last few days. Kedron things have caused me to feel incredibly stressed and anxious, but then I can become quite relaxed and content with it all. But then swing back the other way quite clearly. Gosh it’s annoying.
Us four director type people had a get-together on Monday evening to go through where we were at with program, leaders, and everything else under the sun that is needed to run a camp. And it took a while… I eventually left Kedron (a good 45 minutes from my place) at about midnight. So that has meant that I have been pretty tired – so here I am in bed at 9:30, ready to sleep very soon. Cos I have to do that meeting thing all over again tomorrow night with all the leaders.
I went to the meeting on Monday with quite a few holes in my program that needed filling. And once we got stuck into working out leaders and programs and such, my stress levels just began to increase, and I sat silently, anxiously, wanting to run away. I think the fact that this camp is so huge isn’t making things easy for me. And also the fact that there’s two program directors – one for senior high (yr 10-12), and me for teen (year 7-9). So it’s not just me being able to make all the decisions about the program, and just deferring to the main directors about other stuff… there’s another person, and I think that’s just taking much more time and effort for me to adjust to this than I thought.
Still, the evening ended with my program filled. All activities at least written on paper. They’ll get organised over the next few weeks – but at least now I know what they will be. And tomorrow night I’ll allocate [they'll volunteer hopefully] leaders to quite a few of the activities for them to organise and then run.
And I even got an unexpected call from a booking agency who said that a band I’d enquired about would most likely love to come and play at camp. So awesome!
And I even have an awesome brother working for Tear who is going to come and help out by running a simulation game.
Yet I still can’t help but feel quite a bit uneasy about things. Don’t know why really. Don’t know if it’s just anxiousness; selfishness about not being the only program director; thinking things will go wrong…
Do not be anxious. [Phil 4:6]
It’s pretty clear. There’s not a whole lot of arguing you can do against that.
I definitely feel like my passion has changed this year. In a big way. Maybe changed isn’t the right word. It just doesn’t feel like it’s there – I don’t feel as enthusiastic about Kedron as I want to. Don’t get me wrong, once I get to camp, I know I’m going to love it – I always do and I know this camp will be no different; the camp itself is an incredible time! I’m just finding it a lot harder to be passionate and enthusiastic about all this organisation as I have been in previous years.
I will persevere though. God’s given me a job to do. And I’ll do it. And do it well. And just hope that He hasn’t decided that my time at Kedron is coming to an end. It’d be nice if I can keep doing this for a while.
June 18th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
wow that tear guy sounds great
June 19th, 2008 at 10:04 am
Eph 2:10
For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
God exists in the future and already has the plans laid out. All you need to do is walk through them. He will work through His plans according to His perfect timing – and that’s the bit I have trouble with because I’m an impatient little snot.
June 20th, 2008 at 6:45 am
Praying for you mate, your doing great things!