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It’s been quite an interesting few days. Very up and down for me.

Kedron is drawing nearer, and I begin to start second guessing myself a little and just wondering if I’ve done everything I need to and if everything’s organised. Even though I know it all is under control, I can’t help but get a little nervous and anxious. I was talking to Melinda (the overall camp director) last night, and sharing with her how I just can’t wait to actually get to Kedron and get into it. Once I’m there, that’s all I’m focused on. No outside world distractions – no work, no wedding prep (even though I love doing that, Debbie!) – just 100% camp. And whatever happens, happens. I can deal with it on the fly. I love that.

It feels like I’ve almost been debriefing camp in my head before it’s even begun. Perhaps I’ve actually just been debriefing the “prep” section in my head. Cos it hasn’t really been a pretty one this year. It’s been a lot of adjustment and been very different. I guess the obvious one of being engaged and having something else as a priority in my life, but the other difference and adjusting has been having the two separate parts of camp – teen (years 7-9) and senior high (years 10-12). I guess it was always inevitable that the other program director and myself would clash a bit and see things differently… but I don’t think either of us thought about that until just recently.

It will be a very interesting debrief time after camp as both of us program directors, and Melinda and Julius, the overall directors, sit down and talk about the new ground that was covered. It will be good to talk through what we all found hard about having two, sometimes very separate, camps running concurrently; but also what we found awesome – cos I don’t doubt that this is an awesome thing.

It’s always just hard being part of a pilot or trying something so new and different like this. You aren’t lucky enough to have knowledge and experience of previous years and camps. And you don’t get to sit back and learn from other mistakes from before – cos you’re the one making the mistakes for the first time!

It’s been ultra-challenging for me. But I don’t think it’s over.

I sat back last night and wondered if I want to do this all over again next year. And then I wondered why in the world I was thinking that. Yeah, it’s been the hardest year for me, for sure. But why the heck should I run away from Kedron cos I had a hard year? That’s a bit stupid I reckon.

It’ll be cool to look at it all from a distance in a few months though.

edit: one thing that is making me anxious is Howie coming up to camp to run a tear game. It’s awesome he’s coming – he does all the work while I get to go and have a nap… but I am worried about how much he’s going to offend people and whether they might send him away before he’s even finished the game.

Oh dear.