I’m working to be pliable

It was interesting writing what I wrote yesterday – I realised today that all of that was a follow on from some cool words that I learnt from God on Sunday… about being a good employer, honouring and respecting your boss, and doing work in a Godly and right way. So that was cool to realise today :)

The afternoon was a bit tough though… I began thinking about our Kedron meeting tomorrow night, and am starting to really fret. I’m feeling so down on my abilities, and getting frustrated with the other people organising it – which isn’t like me at all. I don’t know what’s causing me to be so unsettled about it all. I guess a chunk of it is knowing that no one’s really stepped up to lead activities that I asked them too, and so I’m going to have to start delegating activities… which I really don’t want to do.

Argh – as I write this, I know there’s more bothering me about it all… but I won’t write it here. Instead I will try and let go of it tonight and give it to God and try and not be anxious about it. It’s so incredibly hard though. So hard.

I have this sinking feeling that something’s weighing me down.
I am completely saturated.
The waves are crashing closer; my feet already drowned.
I’m doing the thing I said I hated.

Have your way here.
Keep me afloat because I know I’ll sink without you.
Take this ocean of pain that is mine and throw me a lifeline.

  1. delly’s avatar

    Jimmy, youa re so so good at looking after me and cheering me up when i am down or stressed, just in the little things you do, and it means the world to me. I have no doubt that you have everything you need going into the meetings and the camps – god wouldnt send you if you didnt. Be strong and hold your head high, you are amazing.. and i can be the cookie lady for a bit if you need it :)

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